Loose Ties
by criostalaithe
Summary: When Sora starts his first year at college, he knew it'd take some time getting used to it. But when he spots a familiar silver-haired man in the subway, it makes everything faaar more complicated. Is it who Sora thinks it is? And if it is, does the man remember Sora, and more importantly, want anything to do with him? (Rated T for now, but will be rated M in later chapters!)
1. I

**_Author's Note:_** Okay this is the first time I've ever written a fanfiction ever and I'm so nervous and I have so many ideas for this story and just bare with me. I promise it's going to be great! c: But just to let you know, it's gonna be rated M in later chapters for like, ya know. So if you aren't into rated M like R-18 stuff, then I'm sorry but you could just kind of skip over the chapter in the future that's gonna have that stufffff in it? I don't know but just thank you so much for everyone reading and I'll update as often as possible! To follow my updates or posts or anything, I have a Tumblr you can follow under the URL of _criostalaithe._ Again, thank you for reading and enjoy! c:

_**Disclaimer: **_ I obviously don't own Kingdom Hearts or anything just to clear that up. And credit goes to RS for the cover image from _Crown. _

* * *

**_I_**

"Sora, you lazy bum. Hurry up before we miss the subway!"

Kairi stood at the entrance to the underground subway station in Osaka, waiting on Sora's slow butt to catch up to her. Gasping for air, stumbling and clumsily moving through the crowd of people, Sora clutched his school items and grasped the railing beside Kairi for support. "T-this place is a nightmare," he panted, wiping sweat from his eyebrow. "How can you get through the crowd so fast and easily?"

Kairi giggled, holding tightly to the straps to her backpack. "When you're a cute girl like me, people move out of the way for you!"  
Rolling his eyes, Sora replied, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm just as cute."

The duo made their way down the steps as Kairi looked around to find their train number that would take them back to the small apartment they were renting out as they attended their first year of college. It was exciting for the both of them, being so far away from home and independent, being able to do as they please in a city where no one knew their name. Kairi & Sora had been best friends since they were little, and they were inseparable. Promising each other at a young age, they said they'd never change and they'd always stick together.

"I wonder how many people think we're dating," Kairi said, playing with the edge of her green and blue plaid skirt, a part of the college's school uniform. Sora matched exactly with his loose green and blue plaid tie and his white button up shirt. He fumbled with the tie nervously as large crowds made him nervous, and now that he was underground in a huge herd of people, his claustrophobia kicked in. Sora mumbled something along the lines of, "That's awkward," as he responded to Kairi's statement.

Suddenly, Kairi cried out and pointed at the train that awaited them. "Come on, I don't wanna have to stand the whole way home!" She yanked Sora by the hand into the train, pushing past people to get a good seat. Plopping down satisfied, she placed her backpack beside her and sighed. "Stressful," she muttered as Sora took a seat beside her. For some reason, he wasn't really paying as much attention as normal. He was always a bubbly, alert person, but something felt odd about today—maybe it was because it was their first day of school.

Kairi's tiny pink phone buzzed abruptly, causing her to make a noise of curiosity. Flipping it open, she gasped, placing her hand to her mouth. "What is it?" Sora asked, one eyebrow rising up as he tried to avoid the busy situation around him. "Selphie's in town! I didn't know she was going to Handai for school! She wants me to stop by her apartment. Is it okay if I go? Please, Sora, pleeeease?"

Taken back, Sora squinted. "You don't have to ask me for permission! Go on ahead, no biggie."  
Kairi smiled, patting Sora on the knee. "I know I don't have to, but it's just to make sure!"

Sighing, Sora put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes, trying to block out the noise around him. Kairi fiddled with her phone for a while, talking endlessly about this new game that came out and this new movie and this new anime and all the latest, hottest stuff. Sora was never really one interested in trends, he just followed his own style—but Kairi was different, and he just let her ramble on and on about what she liked the most. It entertained him really, seeing her get all worked up over things that didn't really matter. Chuckling to himself, the train began to move.

About ten minutes later, Kairi snapped her fingers in front of a now sleeping Sora. "Sora? Sora! I thought you'd end up snoozing on here. I gotta get off!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and putting on her backpack. Snapping awake, Sora cried out, "Wah—?! Oh, sorry. I hope you have—wow, I'm tired. I hope you have a good time with Selphie. See you later." A big yawn followed his reply as Kairi pointed her finger at him. "Be careful, okay? I'll pick up some groceries on the way back and we can pig out later! See ya!" Kairi hopped off the train as Sora watched her make her way through the crowd before the train took off again.

School was exhausting. Sora already had to do two essays, one about him and one about social anxiety for his psychology class. It was funny, seeing Professor Vexen rambling on and on about how first days always make people nervous and he never knew why, being an extrovert himself. "For your first assignment, I want an essay on social anxiety, because I'm sure many of you have that right now, starting college for the first time!" the professor laughed almost manically as everyone else sat silent, exchanging weird looks. Sora giggled to himself, always being amused by the slightest things, especially outgoing people like the professor before him. He continued to doodle random chibis onto the prompt in front of him, grinning occasionally as the professor continued to make a fool of himself. However, the rest of the school day was stressful trying to make it through the huge university without getting lost, not knowing anyone in class, and trying to stay focused instead of dozing off like Sora always did. So now, here Sora was, alone and yawning like he hadn't slept in three days. He almost felt half-lit.

Sora checked his phone for the time, which read _3:46 PM._ His apartment was thirty minutes away from the university, so he'd be on the subway for about another twenty minutes. How would he spend the time? Continuing to sleep and then eventually missing his stop? Or maybe he could work on the manga he had been creating since his senior year of high school. Sora was majoring in art and minoring in psychology, so one day he hoped to be a successful manga artist—maybe his manga would even turn into an anime some day! But Sora had big dreams like that, and he always had since he was a little boy.

It felt like centuries waiting for his stop, but finally it arrived. Sora grabbed his school books and loosened his tie even more. He didn't want to look all uptight in his school uniform, and he needed his own personal style, so he wore his tie loosely around his neck. Stepping off onto the platform, anxiety struck him as he tried to make his way through the crowd, finally managing to reach the steps to above ground when suddenly, his heart dropped.

_A flash of silver hair._ A flash of a memory in Sora's mind, back home in his secret place where someone, crying, once promised that he would never forget Sora, and he would always keep Sora in his heart. It had been years, but Sora still knew that silver hair. And he_ had_ to reach that silver hair.

The man was making his way through the crowd up the stairs the opposite direction of Sora, meaning of course that Sora would have to go that way. Pushing and elbowing through people, Sora pleaded, "Excuse me! Sorry! Pardon me!" as he chased after the man, keeping his dark blue eyes glued to that silver hair. The man he was tracking was wearing the same school uniform, so did that mean—?

He emerged from the crowd stumbling, tripping over his feet. "Wait!" Sora cried out, running up the staircase as the man reached the sidewalk above and turned to the right. Sora's heart was pumping at an extreme rate, sweat dripping off his spiky brown hair as the heat of the subway got to him. He finally managed to get out, reaching the open world as a blast of cool air hit him, nearly taking his breath away. Searching around frantically, cars honking and people casting weird looks his way, Sora saw the silver hair far down the sidewalk along the people getting off work and making their way home. Hope igniting within him, Sora quickly started his way again, swerving around person after person as he got closer and closer to the man. "Hey, watch it!" a woman croaked, pushing Sora backwards as he tried to make his way around her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm just trying to reach up to my friend," he quickly apologized, peering over her shoulder as the man got farther and farther away. The woman, face coated in wrinkles, pointed a sharp finger in Sora's face, causing him to step back, shocked. "Did no one ever teach you manners, kid?" she yelled, causing a scene. Sora, holding his hands up defensibly as people scowled, took in a sharp breath as the man rounded the right corner of a building. Nervous and frustration rising, Sora had to draw up a lot of courage as the woman went on and on in front of him. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, knowing what he had to do.

And he pushed past the old woman, knocking into her shoulder as he ran down the sidewalk, her angry screams getting more and more distant as he approached the corner. Turning and skidding, Sora nearly laughed as he thought of what he just did. _That was unbelievable! That was so rude—what has gotten into me? What if he's not even the one I think he is? Jesus Christ, I'm losing my mind._

The sidewalk was clearing as Sora headed down a side street following the silver-haired man. It wasn't exactly the best part of town, kind of dirty and reckless, but this was worth it—if it meant Sora finding him again.

_"Sora—I'll never forget you. I'll always be in your heart. I'll find you again, one day. I promise."_

Sora suddenly found himself fighting off tears as he slowed down and watched the man open the door to an apartment building. He still couldn't get a close look at his face, so was it okay to just go into the building and continue to follow him? If it was him, then…

Sora decided to keep going. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, the time read _4:13 PM. _Kairi wouldn't be at the apartment until later on that night, so really it was okay. Sora had all the time in the world! Right? He sighed, knowing he was just making up excuses to justify following a man he didn't even know for sure.

Holding his school books close to his chest, he pushed the door open to the apartments. He glanced around cautiously, deep blue eyes wide and eyebrows up. Sora heard footsteps above him so he quietly sneaked his way up the stairs, one arm carrying his school supplies, the other tracing lightly across the dusty staircase railing. Voices started to become apparent as Sora rounded the corner and tip-toed down the hallway, seeing that silver hair disappear behind a door, his back to Sora. _I never got to see his face._

The sudden voices turned into yelling, coming directly from the door that the man entered. Sora, daring and eavesdropping, continued to make his way down the hallway despite the consequences that could occur. If it was him, many things could go wrong—but if it wasn't, and he was alone in this dangerous place…

"Oh, look who finally decided to show up!" a woman yelled.  
"Think you can just take your time getting home when you know we got shit we need to do? Think you're better than us just because you're getting a fuckin' education? Where the hell have you been, it doesn't take that long to get home from the college!" a man, voice deep and hoarse, now screamed.

_"I'm sorry. The subway was crowded. It won't happen again." _

Sora nearly fell to his knees. He had to clamp his hand over his mouth from crying out. Tears burned in his eyes as he squeezed them shut and struggled to breathe. He knew that voice. It was him. It was _him._ He had found him after all these years. After all that had happened, he found him.

"Damn straight it won't. You got another thing coming, boy."  
_"No, please. I'm sorry. I promise I didn't do anything."  
_ "You've lied to us before, you'll lie to us again," the woman sassed, a sharp slap noise echoing across the hall. Sora winced just hearing it. They—they were hurting him. Hurting his long lost friend. His best friend. His—his—.

"Take care of him, I gotta go to work. Just make sure he learns his lesson," the woman said, heels clanking and keys jangling as she approached the door. Stricken with fear, Sora fumbled to come up with a plan to avoid being confronted by the woman. He yanked his phone out of his pocket and leaned against one of the apartment doors. He would act like he was scrambling for his keys while taking a busy phone call. _That's it! Smart thinking!_

"You'd think he'd already know by now, goddammit!" the man roared, the woman suddenly appearing as the door creaked open. Blonde hair stacked in a messy bun on top of her head, she was smothering her lips in a bright red lipstick, her dress short enough to see her cervix, for god's sake. Sora, stuttering uncontrollably, avoided looking at her and mumbled into his phone, "No, I'm not busy later. Just got home from school, I can meet up with you sometime tonight if you want." _Lame._

She walked right past Sora, nearly choking him with her strong perfume. The door was left wide open, revealing a dirty home, a fat bearded man, and—.  
His friend was clutching his cheek when his jaw nearly dropped to the floor, eyes wide with fear, confusion, denial. He already seemed to be crying before, but now…

"Yeah just leave the door wide open, why don't you! Hey, you—take a picture, it'll last longer, faggot."

Sora dropped his phone in shock, turning to see the fat bearded man speaking to him in the doorway. Sora peered behind the man, trying desperately to see that silver hair. Sora was scared, he was just wanted to run in there and hug his friend and tell him everything would be okay, that they had found each other, finally.

"S-S-Sora?" he asked.

Their eyes met for a split second. His screamed confusion and hurt. Sora's screamed an apology.

The door slammed shut and Sora regretted following Riku home.


	2. II

_**Author's Note: **_I won't be update to update for longer than I'd like because of work, but I promise I will as soon as possible! I know this is short, but I didn't have a lot of time. But thanks so much for reading! c:

* * *

**_II_**

"You saw WHO?"

Kairi shook her head in disbelief, sitting on the couch as Sora paced in front of her back and forth. "Riku! Yes, I saw Riku! Oh god, Kairi, it nearly killed me. It nearly killed me," he cried out, collapsing onto the couch and laying his head in Kairi's lap as she played with the brown spikes. The scene of seeing him just replayed within Sora's head, the hurt and confusion in Riku's eyes as he clutched his cheek in pain. Sora could only imagine what happened to him afterwards, with that awful, awful man.

"Sora, didn't you say he was in the same uniform as us? Does that mean he goes to Handai?"

He shot up suddenly off the couch, remember the same loose tie around Riku's neck.

"Of course! I can see him tomorrow and explain everything. Oh god, I'm so nervous," Sora groaned, yanking his tie off and slipping into the bathroom before he returned wearing his favorite black v-neck and red basketball shorts. "Don't be! We all were so close before he—had to leave," Kairi said, the last part of the sentence coming out more like a whisper. She anxiously twirled her burgundy hair and bit at her lip, watching me as I continued my pacing. "What if he gets mad at me for following him?"

"If he does, then he's a shitty person. I mean, who could ever be mad at you, Sora?"

"Don't flirt with me Kairi, this is a _life or death situation_."

"Hey, talk about overdramatic! It's true! You're a good person, Sora, with good intentions."

"We just haven't seen him in so long and you know how I feel about him," Sora muttered, flopping down into the recliner and reaching into the mini fridge to grab a water bottle. Kairi suddenly cast Sora a confused look and raised her eyebrows. "Uh—yeah, right. Sure. Anyway, just chill out and forget about it for now! Focus on living in the moment!" she answered, snatching the remote off the couch arm and turning on the television, flipping through endless channels. I replied to her with the endless cracking of my water bottle as I gulped the liquid down, throat dry from being so worried. _Watch me have another panic attack and have to go to hospital again._

"Ugh, there's nothing good on. Here, pick out a movie while I make dinner. And call your mom! She keeps texting me asking why you won't answer your phone like I'm your personal secretary. I'm not your personal secretary, Sora!" she yelled out from the kitchen, materials clinging and clattering as she gathered them to make food.

Sora threw his face down into the recliner pillow. "I'll call her if you go get sea-salt ice cream."  
Kairi's head peeked out from the kitchen. "Check the mini fridge again, doofus."  
Eyes widening and worries melting away, I carefully opened the mini fridge to—.  
_"Yes! My sanctuary!"_

The alarm clock rang and Sora immediately groaned.

Two things: Sora hated mornings and Sora hated school. But now Sora hated school even more, seeing that he was so nervous about seeing Riku again. Throwing his legs out from underneath his covers, he shivered at the contact of the cold morning air. Rubbing his eyes frantically, Sora could hear Kairi already making a racket outside his door. She was humming a familiar tune, probably the theme song to Attack on Titan because she was obsessed with it. Slipping on his school uniform (making sure to loosen the tie), Sora dragged himself tiredly out of his room into the kitchen. "Good morning, sleepy-head!" Kairi smiled, glancing over her shoulder at Sora while she was making eggs on the stove. Grunting in reply, expressionless and eyes barely open, Sora sat down at the kitchen counter and let his head fall on the surface.

"Well gosh; it'd be nice to get a good morning back. I know you hate mornings but you're never this grumpy, you grumpy-pants!"

"I'm not exactly looking forward to today," Sora muttered as Kairi set a plate of breakfast in front of him, taking a seat. Kairi ruffled his hair, and then patted him on the back. "But this is great! We're gonna get to see Riku again! It's been so long, you know? I know I miss him a lot, which means you've got to miss him like _a lot_ a lot. You guys were like, best friends for eight years before I moved to Okushiri. I mean, Riku practically hated me until he was like, fourteen. Took him six years to like me! So I mean, you've gotta want to see him. You _gotta_!" she exclaimed.

Shoveling eggs in my mouth, I mumbled, "Of course I want to."  
Kairi clapped excitedly. "See? So no need to be in a grumpy mood!"  
_How does she have so much energy in the morning?_

"Osaka is so much bigger than Okushiri! I love the big city life, don't you, Sora?"

Walking down the busy morning sidewalk was a hassle. Kairi was right—Osaka was so much bigger than Okushiri, but Okushiri was on an island so there was a huge difference. So, once you go from living the peaceful island life to the bustling, fast-pace of the city, it can be strange and stressful. Kairi was loving it though, but she originally moved to Okushiri with her parents from Tokyo after her parents decided raising a child in the largest Japanese city wasn't exactly the greatest; therefore, Kairi was used to the city life, and here Sora was, longing for a papau fruit and the huge palm tree trunk he always used to nap on back home.

"It…takes some getting used to," Sora replied. He had noticed he was in such a grim mood lately which highly upset him. He was also so positive and happy and cheerful and bubbly! But adjusting to a new environment can take some time, and can be a pain. After making this discovery however, Sora decided he was going to try his hardest to return to his normal self! But it wasn't going to be so easy especially now that he had found Riku in such a horrible situation…  
Sora shook the thought and flashed Kairi his signature smile. "But I'm definitely getting used to it! It'll be fun once the stress wears off!" Kairi smoothed down her skirt and grinned back up at Sora, holding tightly onto the straps of her backpack as they continued to walk down the street. Sora placed his arms behind his head comfortably and tried to shrug off the stress. There was no need for it anyway! He had Kairi, and he was going to have Riku. Everything was going to be perfect again.

_"S-S-Sora?"_

Shivering, Sora tried to block out the voice of Riku as he saw him the other day. He wouldn't let that creep back into his mind. Sora had a nightmare about it that night, seeing Riku in their secret place back in Okushiri, and then watching as they were both ripped apart by a terrible storm that completely destroyed the island. It was torture watching himself chase after Riku who was being devoured by this big, glob of pure darkness. Just as he was so close to touching Riku's hand and pulling him out of there, he disappeared, left in the storm as the island ripped apart around him. It was the worst nightmare he had ever experienced. But god, just hearing Riku's voice again after all these years. Sora couldn't ignore it. Sora plastered a smile on his face and continued to make small talk with Kairi, but pressed repeat on the soundtrack of Riku speaking his name.

As Osaka University approached, Sora immediately got this god awful pain in his stomach deep within his gut. _What if I run into him? What will he say? Will he want to talk to me? _The worry made his heart like an aircraft breaking mach five. It was insane was the thought of his long lost friend did to him and despite how bad Sora longed to see him, the anxiety of it was almost too much. Sora was diagnosed with panic disorder one year after Riku left Okushiri—his family and friends would have to agree that the trauma of losing his best friend did it to him. Since that one panic attack that started it all, Sora found himself many nights in front of the toilet, throwing up all he had in his stomach until there was nothing left at all, and he'd continue to puke up pure water. He'd shake and sweat so uncontrollably to the point of where he literally thought he was going to die. The cold chills he got yet the hot sweats? It was awful, purely awful. Sora remembered how one night they got so bad he was screaming for someone, anyone, to help him. He really thought he was gonna die right there on his bathroom floor. Luckily his mom ran in there and took him to the hospital, where they found out it wasn't anything really killing him, but _damn, it sure felt like it.  
_ Kairi and Sora stepped onto campus, looking awful homogeneous to everyone else. Sora tugged at his tie, making sure it was loose, making sure he didn't look like a typical drone of society, and said his goodbyes to Kairi as they made their separate ways to their classes.

First period, 2D Art Study.  
Second period, Human Anatomy.  
Third period, Study Hall.  
Fourth period, Psychology.

First period flew by just like that—how could it not, when Sora absolutely loved art? He literally got to sit in class and just draw all day and get good grades for it. It was _awesome._

Second period was a little difficult though, trying to memorize so many body parts, having to stare at them and focus and memorize every little line, name, and detail. Sora was often one to doze off so this class was gonna be a struggle, but necessary if he really wanted a career in art. And he did! He wouldn't give up no matter what—he was determined, and he always had been since he was little.

It was third period when Sora nearly fell right out of his chair having a panic attack.

While the teacher in Study Hall started taking attendance, everything seemed fine and normal, until suddenly the teacher raised one eyebrow and called _his_ name. Not Sora's name, but _his. _Riku wasn't in there though, and he wasn't in there yesterday, so it was strange. Did he get transferred into the class? Was it a mistake? _Sheesh, I'm gonna kill over and die._

The door then casually swung open, almost in slow-motion to Sora as he gazed up at who was standing in the doorway.  
And there he was—Riku, baring an awful similarity to Sora with the loose tie around his neck.

Sora immediately could not breathe; the air just got stuck somewhere between his nostrils and lungs and wouldn't go in and wouldn't go out. Feeling suddenly light-headed, he quickly turned around in his chair, pleading and hoping and praying that Riku didn't him. But goddammit, he would see him because Sora's hair defied gravity and stuck out like a sore thumb. _Thanks Mom for the extremely noticeable hair!_

"I'm going to assume you are Riku?" the teacher questioned him.  
Sora didn't hear Riku responded, but the teacher directed him to find a seat anywhere—like there was a wide option. The only table empty was mine, thanks to Sora's lack of knowing anyone. He was normally great at making friends! He did all the time, with his bubbly personality—but this city was different, and no one seemed interested in finding new friends than the ones they already had.

Sora felt movement next to him as the chair beside him pulled out. Sora kept his head down and his arms folded on the table to hide his face, to hide his embarrassment and regret from yesterday, but he heard a throat clear.

"Hey."

Slowly rising up, Sora, for the first time in four years, met eye contact with his best friend.

"I—uh—um—hi, Riku."

Kicking his feet up on the empty chair left at the table, Riku plopped his bag down beside him and pulled out a folder. "It's been a while, don't you think?" he said, glancing sideways over at Sora and casting him a grin.

_I'm going to die, this is it, goodbye world._

Gulping, Sora nodded, almost too frantically. "Y-yeah, it has. I...I missed you."

Riku then smiled, and everything felt normal again. Sora loved it when Riku smiled—it was the remedy to his issues, his panic attacks.  
But then, knowing Sora's bad luck, the feeling ended quite quickly.

Leaning towards Sora and squinting his eyes, Riku whispered, "Why were you at my apartment yesterday? I know you don't live there. You followed me, didn't you?"

_Oh no, oh god. What do I do? What do I say?_

Choking, Sora stuttered, "I-I—I saw you in the subway. And I immediately had to know if it was you. You-you were gone for so long and I almost couldn't handle it anymore. You were on my mind every day. R-Riku, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. That was dumb of me, and I-I'm sorry."  
Laying his head down, or nearly slamming his head down, Sora once more avoided Riku's eyes and tried to hide his cheeks that had immediately started turning red. _Just rant on and on, why don't you, Sora, you big idiot?_

_Shut up, it was dumb of me and Riku deserved an apology.  
Yeah, he deserved an apology, not a love letter._

"Ng—! That was not a love letter!" Sora harshly whispered to himself, almost forgetting that hey, Riku was right there. Riku could _hear_ him.  
"Love letter or not, just don't go to my apartment anymore, alright?"

Tensing up and making a bunch of weird noises, Sora replied, "I-I, uh, I wasn't—hngh, I, um, o-okay alright." Pouting, he looked up at Riku with puppy dog eyes, hoping his friend would forgive him. Sora just wanted Riku to like him. That was all.

And then that beautiful smile returned. "I told you I'd find you again, Sora."  
Chewing on his pencil, Sora smiled and felt himself blush once more.  
"Yeah. I knew you would."

Riku grinned and started working on a piece of paper before him as Sora sat back and watched, seeing the muscles flex in his hand and remembered all the good times they had back home before Riku—left. Sora still wasn't quite sure what happened, and he didn't wanna ask. If Riku wanted him to know, he'd tell him. And he did tell him, but it was short and rushed and mainly just a bunch of crying before he just gone, just like that.  
But he had jumped back into Sora's life, just like that too, and Sora wouldn't let him leave again, no way. Sora was gonna get him away from that awful place, and rekindle their friendship. Maybe even—maybe—.

_Don't be stupid._

Almost laughing to himself, Sora covered his mouth as he smiled. Sure, the thought of it was stupid—but was it possible? And could Riku see it and feel it too?  
He didn't know, but Sora was determined to find out.


End file.
